RR
Im trying to understand what you are saying. I think your questioning
the reality of your past accumulation of biblical facts. Is it because
your frustrated about it not bringing you to peace? I have a lot of
intellectual knowledge about the bible but i get real fulfillment in the
meditation of it. I have never really desired to make the facts the
primary source of my christian experience. The facts of doctrine in my
experience have very little security for me. But i look at the facts as
part of the total way the picture is painted. Like looking at a
beautiful painting. But my meditation is what brings the color and
symmetry to the painting. I believe there is in our minds eye a meta
physical image of who we are as the basis of how we live in reality. I
hope you continue to explain your experience.
MBG, I want to
use part of what you wrote to try to express a few things on my mind in
this because it comes close to describing it well, but I differ on a few
points—still many commonalities there for me.
I can’t speak for
RR, but I am not “questioning the reality of my accumulation of Biblical
facts.” I’m questioning what others have presumed to tell me those
facts mean in relationship to the people around us. I’m questioning
their casual judgment and instant dismissal of my expressions of my
following after Jesus.
Several times it was pointed out that the
Evans article was not questioning God or judging Him—she was questioning
the people who told her what it all meant (as if they have God totally
figured out) and she was disturbed by the casual acceptance of pain and
suffering and horrific death in this world by some simply declaring some
are merely “vessels of destruction” and telling her that genocide
shouldn’t trouble her since it’s all in God’s plan.
If “Jesus
wept”, aren’t we to be able to do that, too, openly and fearlessly,
without someone calling us “emotional” and unbiblical and faithless?
And
I loved the painting metaphor. I agree that meditation leads to
revelation. But look at it this way—let’s say you’re Picasso, and you
display one of your painstakingly created paintings. You unveil it,
hoping that people can see what you’re trying to express. Some
Christians do that metaphorically only to find there are evangelicals or
strict literalists who jump up to say, “Wait, the eyes are in the wrong
place! The nose looks weird! This is disturbing, and it’s not real!
You can’t paint like that!”
I know it’s kind of like that when I
try to pull the veil off my heart and express my meditations sometimes,
because there’s usually someone to call me too emotional, or too
uneducated in theology, or accuse me of judging God, or throw 22 random
Biblical verses at me, to say what I’m going through in my walk can’t
possibly be real.
If you have read me I have given a very
good reason and a logical one for Gods actions. And I believe that it is
easy for us to dismiss the importance of not wanting to make this like a
horror movie. And its because we do not put this in the proper context
of redemption. I know its easy for us to dismiss the emotion as if that
would make it lack orthodoxy. But my explanation is from a feeling of
empathy. Because the moment we say that we are on the side of those who
have be harmed then we fully acknowledge that those people who did the
act deserve to be punished. So my purpose in this is to help people who
feel abused to kind of exercise the cursed hardness out of their souls.
And the best way is to see that we stand not as spectators but in
between blame and defense. Just as there is a positive way to
aggressively come along side of a person to take the grief there is a
way to go at the cursed grief so that it is ended as fast as it can be
so that a person does not endure the grief but feels like they are
defended.
Ive experienced sorrow many times in my life. Almost
all of it comes from being wronged in some way. But my experience is not
in the other persons mind and heart. So I am coming from the terrible
disposition that I was given as a child to be extremely sensitive in how
trials and wrongs enter my heart. Let me say that I have become a
professional decompose r. Ive written about this in many of my post. The
point is that we cannot feel a sense of joy and peace unless we find
that Christ is more than our understanding companion but He is our
defender. And my insistence that God is in absolute control is not from a
desire to vindicate God even if it hurts my brothers. But is so that I
can appeal to them to experience God as their personal defender. I have
so much to say where i can show that a big God goes farther than just
carrying the burden but He is powerful enough to decompose the grief.
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