Self Control vs Gods Control

God is our refuge, that is we are in a relationship with Him.When we say refuge we are talking about a spiritual oneness that we share in the our being in Christ in the Trinity. We are fully safe in this relationship. We are prone to think that when trouble comes there is something in us that has caused the trouble and there is something in us that causes our relationship with Him to change. We are prone to think that because we are in terrible straits because of our circumstances or because of our sin that our relationship changes. But because we are not the cause our our being in Him in the relationship that we share with our Father in a trinitarian closeness we therefore are surrounded by the loving smile of our Father.
Thats why we must learn to take refuge in Him. Because we are not the cause of our being in Him, we must think thoughts after Him, so that we align ourselves in that kind of confidence ei He is working every thing out without our help. Because there is such a tension in our lives of resting in Christ, and being in the world, with the inward struggle with the flesh, and the devil, we are easily led astray to trust in ourselves away from  this safety and peace. We must see that taking refuge in Him and having peace in the midst of the most sever circumstances is as real as the circumstances in our lives. To begin to understand that kind of peace we must live in the attitude of prayer, that God is going to rescue us and it does not matter how long we wait or how we feel under the burden of the circumstances, we must have one focus, that God alone will rescue us. Unless we have that deep desire we will only increase the anxiety.
Its not the condition of our hearts nor the action we take that will cause us to be any closer to Christ , and change the relationship for the better. It is understanding our need of deliverance and praying that He will deliver in His time. God must not only have our trust that He is sovereign but He must have the trust that our circumstances are encircled by Him so that there is nothing new that will penetrate the circle that He has not planned. He must be the beginning of our rescue and the end of our rescue. He must be the lone purpose in our rescue.
Once we see that nothing will deliver us accept Him then we are learning to rest in Christ.
Unless we have this cause and effect relationship firm in our minds we will have very little desire to have Him listen to our prayers. It is because we see the depth of our inability to do any thing about our relationship to Him in the circumstances and the height of His ability that we can have confidence in prayer. The amount of trust in Him being immediately available to us will determine the kind of confidence we have in seeing through faith the circumstances and the answers evolving in our circumstances. There must be an immediate sense of His presence in our deepest heart pain from the trial. Because we are in a relationship with an immediate friend we must acknowledge that we are indwelt by the triune God, with an immediate power. And His power to deliver surpasses all the weight of any trial. It is immediate and near.
It is not only immediate and near but we are in and eternal immediate powerful nearness. It is always available, in the worst sin, in the worst circumstances , and in the worst pain we can experience. He is not interested in exposing but in delivering. He is always the same no matter what. He does not change. That refuge of power is the place we always go to. We are only required to rest in Christ in the place of refuge. It is not the action of the flesh that will be the place of resting but it is the confidence we have in His power that will cause us to be delivered. The confidence we have comes as we pray with wisdom understanding that we are unable and He is fully able.